Restlist

It’s becoming a tradition to try and get these entries in on Restday Monday. Restday Monday is pretty much the high point of my week . As far as I can tell from my 70.3 training schedule (and I haven’t checked the whole thing because looking that far ahead will freak me out, so don’t quote me on this), Monday is the only day for the next four and a half months that I’m not supposed to be doing some form of fairly gruelling activity. Okay, that’s unfair – there are ‘easy’ sessions, but they’re at the end of the week when I’m already exhausted from intervals and drills, so they still aren’t that easy.

Rest day is a weird day, every week. It’s the only day that I legitimately get a break from considering the training I’ve just done, or the training I’m due to do that day, or, on the worst days, guilt-tripping myself for not fitting training in when I should have done it (these days are not rest days – there’s nothing restful about berating yourself all day). As a result, by rest day, my brain has forgotten how to think about most other things (seriously – I’m forgetting words and dates and how to construct sentences), and on rest day, it doesn’t know what to do with itself. Sometimes I spend the entire day in a daze of exhaustion, stoned with tiredness; sometimes I’m so jittery, with my mind all over the place, it’s ridiculous. Today is an exhausted day. I had a brief moment at lunch when I was inspired to write down a few things that occurred to me that might be interesting to blog about. I had a one-hour burst of energy at about 5pm when my body went all, ‘But you haven’t moved today! Get up! Take me cycling!’, a feeling that I satisfied with dog-walking when I got home. The rest of the day, it’s all I’ve been able to do to focus on my work at work. I backed out of ‘Hitchcock’ cinema plans this evening.  I kind of want to quit this writing and have a nap right now – but on the other hand, I really want to write and this is the best day to do it.

Obvious fitness fact (like I’m qualified to give them! Ha!): rest days are really, really important. They aren’t just recovery for your muscles – your head needs a break as well, otherwise meltdowns occur. Actually, they’ll occur anyway, but slightly less often if you take rest. Aaaand – I’m done pretending to know what I’m talking about.

I’m glad I wrote a list of things at lunch, because that gives me something to natter aimlessly about, now that I’ve done my obligatory 70.3 update. Yes, I do like to natter aimlessly in this blog. I like to pretend I’m still a writer of sorts, after years of half-arsed stories and private wallowing.

So, because I rely on lists (and I think I’ve mentioned that before), here’s  the list of things I thought of at lunchtime.

Tired Yes, obviously.

Period balloon This is a reference to my belly. It’s been six weeks since having the coil fitted, and I’m only just having my first period since then. It’s been a bit of a nerve-racking time waiting for that to happen (Gah! Damaged! Ectopic pregnancy! Nooo!), even though I looked this up and it takes about six months for the pill I was on to leave my system and can cause a long wait before the first no-pill period. Anyway, the pain and the bloating is everything they promised. I have a lovely balloon stomach right now – but I’ve lost weight (ah ha!) and toned up, so actually my clothes still fit better than they did even…

In trousers I hate A pair of GAP khaki things that used to barely fit and now fit fine, but I still hate them. They make me feel quite hefty,  which has been a killer combination with the aforementioned period balloon.  All my jeans are in the wash. Basically these trousers just make me kind of grouchy.

Tired and maked-up Because I felt like crap, at lunchtime I went and put on a shitload of moisturiser and make-up to make myself feel slightly more human. I think I actually made myself look kind of ill, but at least my face wasn’t dry anymore. When I was younger, I was sure I’d get better at this sort of thing as I got older, but that really hasn’t happened.

Just smashed my phone Exactly that – the screen has a pretty shatter pattern across it. I’ve had it for about three months and, honestly, I’m surprised it lasted that long. My old phone was a brick Nokia, and I’ve not yet learnt to treat my new phone more delicately. I shouldn’t be allowed nice things.

Equinox Fitness Club This is ostensibly a fitness club round the corner from work. I looked it up once, and it appeared to be the sort of gym that is a) not aimed at the likes of me and b) far beyond what I could ever afford. Also it doesn’t have a swimming pool. Anyway, instead of windows, they have giant posters along the side of the building. It used to be pictures of a meticulous gym and two women arm-wrestling. Now, though, there’s a picture of a half-naked woman standing over a man in a suit on a bed (with camera equipment around) and another of a woman’s legs in heels, no clothes, sticking out of car window. There’s a third picture. I can’t remember precisely what’s in it, but I’m pretty sure it involves a woman in nothing but underwear. So as far as I can tell, it’s not really a gym anymore. It’s more an escort club. Which explains the prices. (I jest. Of COURSE I understand the vanity/sex-appeal advertising thing – but between this and American Apparel over the road, Kensington is start to look misleadingly porny).

Everyone’s a psychopath I’ve been reading Jon Ronson’s The Psychopath Test. It’s brilliant – funny, but also worrying. It’s not actually strictly about psychopaths, addressing as it does the diagnosis of mental illness as a whole; madness as entertainment; the history of psychiatry; and medical and legal practice as applies to mental health and sociopathy. But it’s the understanding (or recognition) of psychopaths that pulls you in, or me in, anyway. It’s made me start looking at everyone vaguely suspiciously, wondering who’s out to get a kick out of ruining other people’s lives. It also makes you start wondering about certain people you know – which one of them lacks empathy? I can think of a couple. I worry too much, and it’s made me a bit jumpy, frankly. Fabulous book, though. I’d do a more in depth review, but I haven’t finished it yet.

I’ve finished this entry though.