Oh, hi, I didn’t see you there… no, no, don’t mind me. I’m just noting a few things down. I mean, I fully intended to just send you to other people’s writing this weekend, and not do a complete entry, but that’s a cop out, really, isn’t it? So here, have some of the stuff that’s on my mind. Why the hell not.
Ladies and gents, I had a massive crisis of confidence on, oooh, all levels this week. There is not a thing you could point at in my life that I wasn’t having doubts about. Job? Can’t do it. Dunno why they keep me on. Sport? I can barely walk up some stairs! Why bother with races and stuff! Pets? I am the worst dog owner in the world, they look so sad, asleep, upside down on the sofa. Coffee Monster? I called him a woodcutter instead of a prince, he’s going to leave me. Self image? Body-length paper bag, please. Writing? Let the rejections rain down! (They have been, by the way.)
So we’ll call that a period of wallowing, and leave it in the past, and you all just be grateful that you aren’t getting the miserable diatribe that you could have ended up reading.
At the beginning of April I’m taking off for a weekend to see my family. I think they are as excited about me going over as I am about going. There’s been all kinds of family stuff going on over the past few years (isn’t there always?) and I swore at Christmas that I’d make more of an effort to visit. My dad’s stroke has given that plan something of a healthy kick up the backside. He’s doing fine, by the way. Has a bit of dysphasia, but as he pointed out, his vocabulary pre-stroke was fairly massive, so it’s probably more of a normal size now. The only real problems come from remembering place and people names.
For the past couple of nights I’ve been reading aloud to Coffee Monster. Not entirely sure how that’s happened, but it’s been fun, doing the voices for short ghost stories. Mostly I consider it good practice for reading to the nephews, not that the younger nephew is old enough to care about that yet.
I got a text from a musician friend about a song I sent to him many moons ago. I sent him a really rough a cappella recording of it, flawed as anything, and he wanted to get the accompaniment set up. It looks as though he’s finally got time to work on it (dependant on me sending a cleaner version with less screwed-up timing). I had more or less forgotten that I sent it out to him, so I’m back to being a bit excited about this.
I can play a few instruments, but generally speaking I’m pretty limited as a musician, so I’m really interested to see what someone with a totally different skill set will make of the lyrics and tune. It’s got me toying with the idea of singing lessons. Only toying, though, since I don’t know when I would fit them in. Intellectually, I know the technical aspects of breathing properly and whatnot, but that’s very different from putting them into practice.
Finally – I’ve come across this video: http://vimeo.com/24715531 It was about as well-timed as it could ever be, and I’ll be replaying it at key moments of the next ten years, I’m sure.