Poem for Mental Health Awareness Week

This week (12th – 18th May) is Mental Health Awareness week.

I wrote a poem, ages ago, for submission to a themed Mslexia issue. Theme: troubled minds. I didn’t get into the issue and I’ve sent the poem out unsuccessfully since then. It popped back up in my inbox yesterday, still homeless, and though I’m sure if I keep sending it out there it’ll get picked up at some point (maybe), it seemed appropriate that it’s reappeared as a free agent this week. So I’ve decided to put it up here.

Most lit mags say they won’t publish something already released online, so I’m basically removing this one from the possibility of paper publishing unless I ever reach the stage of pamphlets or collections.

IMPORTANT POINT: This poem is NOT a cry for help. It’s not something I wrote in the dark days. It was written for a very specific submission. No worried messages, please.

 

Go Gently

There are too many shadows and no end to the night.
I have chosen my time and mapped the way –
please close the door and turn out the light.

You soothe and seethe. I am selfish; you are right.
But, dear, though I hear you, forgive me for turning away:
there are too many shadows and no end to the night.

Through passing years, this plan’s remained bright
you see. The argument’s lost and I do not mean to stay.
Please – close the door and turn out the light.

The fire and twitch of my polluted bellyexcites
survival (Turn back! Step away!) Still, the lure of emptiness holds sway –
there are too many shadows and no end to the night.

I hear the muffled cries. You will not let me leave your sight,
but sirens sing and I follow them to the rocks. If you love me as you say,
please close the door and turn out the light.

The clock stops. I cling to the tick of my heartbeat, tight.
Its rhythm slips and, though fog shapes dreams of one more day,
there are too many shadows and no end to the night.
Please, close the door and turn out the light.