For the birds

Day three of relentless sunshine, and I have taken to hiding indoors. I’m a cold-weather person. I like blue skies and light, but I also like the temperature to be cold. And dry. I’m actually (it turns out) ever so slightly allergic to sunlight. I wear a lot of suncream but will still get little ‘aaaaargh UV LIGHT!’ welts on my forearms after a day doing stuff outside. So sexy. So summer. Move me to a land of everlasting dry bright Autumns forever and ever, please.

We attempted to have a BBQ today, except one of us (me) didn’t get lighter fluid to go with the charcoal and one of us (him) is not allowed to risk a turps fireball more than once a year and the first one didn’t work. Also one of us (him) has been moving the compost bin and is now mostly compost himself and smells of compost so much that it’s really horrible, but doesn’t have much of a sense of smell so isn’t taking my refusal to be in the same space as him (or even in the garden at the moment) seriously.


Small break while we note that things my boyfriends of any level of seriousness have all had in common are: no sense of smell and interesting scars. Hm. I guess I have a very very very specific type. Keep your tall, dark and handsomes; I’ll stick with my ‘oops I forgot my deodorant but it doesn’t matter’s.

Anyway, one of us (me) has put the chicken in the oven and is going to attempt a sort of fake BBQ set up later, in the garden that will hopefully no longer smell of rotting rubbish by then. We planted flowers and herbs too. We have been inviting bees, which is great except that today they’ve all taken the invite too far and come into the house, and I’ve spent 15 minutes of every hour walking from room to room catching them in a glass and chucking them back outside. It’s peaceful in a really buzzy way, with the extra peacefulness of someone who isn’t good at not having a to do list, but who has managed to do at least a bit of everything on the entire Bank Holiday list, except the bit that involves writing up a music/words crossover project plan. That I have not done, and it is why I am instead writing a fairly vacuous blog post for the blog no one reads.


I was going to add another photo
To make this page appealing
But can’t be bothered.


So quick round up:

West Highland Way: walked half of it. Screwed my knees and calves up and had to stop. Totally worth it because it turns out I genuinely like having to think so hard about the next step that I can’t think about anything else. And when you aren’t thinking about the step, you’re a tiny little nothing in a big space and that is freeing. Also, I totally dealt with heights and descents like someone who’s not quite scared of both of those things. Going back to do it again, and finish it next time. Check out Instagram for more on this.

Writing: in about a week I should know whether or not my dream agent wants to take me on. I wasn’t going to mention this, but I’m too jittery not to. Either way, it’s taken on a feeling of too much enormity BECAUSE…

Birthday: in about two weeks, when I officially hit my late thirties. This is the time of year when, traditionally, I do my damnedest to Fuck Up My Life With Bad Decisions. (Don’t bother going back to read old entries, there are no clues.) I don’t always succeed, like, and it’s not conscious. I’ve just noticed a pattern. Probably okay this year though except that the aforementioned agent thing will be a sign of whether things are on the right track. Big Bawling Failure or Not? We’ll see.

Social Media: despite the spying and Cambridge Analytica and all that, I’ve been less twittery and more facebooky recently, because facebook is a nice place of friends and family, while twitter is just… soul destroying, actually, mostly.

Music: trying to do more playing, more recording. All that. I’m stuck, at the moment, on a graphics and video uuuurgh. I’m not a designer and I can’t afford to hire anyone and so future images for anything might just be shots of lots of origami card thrown into the air and me taking a photo of the result.

Aliens or nightlights: there have been weird lights in the sky around our area recently. Not stars. Not glow-in-dark pigeons.

Birds: speaking of pigeons, we have a birdfeeder now, and that’s nice except it seems to have started some sort of war between two blackbirds who fight every day, twice a day, and sometimes do ridiculous Benny Hill chases on the ground around abandoned flower pots

More birds: also we found like… the wings, only, and a bit of spine, from what might have been a swift(?) on the ground outside our garage. They looked fresh, but were also completely stiff. There were the remains of flesh on the spine and I think the ants had the rest.

More more birds: birds are vicious, man. On the way to work on Friday I saw a seagull swoop down and land in the street, and start feeding on the fairly fresh carcass of a dead pigeon, until a car came along and it flew away. The gull, not the car.

Cars: Cars can take a turn in exactly the way this update did, speedily and without warning – and well done if you read far enough down to get confused.

Updates: The End.

Off you go, you little scamp, you.

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